Interrupting Bias: Calling Out vs. Calling In
Calling Out:
- When we need to let someone know that their words or actions are unacceptable and will not be tolerated
- When we need to interrupt in order to prevent further harm
- Will likely feel hard and uncomfortable, but necessary
- Allows us to hit the “pause” button and break the momentum
Wow. Nope. Ouch. I need to stop you right there. | That word/comment is really triggering and offensive. Be mindful and pick a different word. | I need to push back against that. I disagree. I don’t see it that way. |
Okay, I am having a strong reaction to that and I need to let you know why. | I don’t find that funny. Tell me why that’s funny to you. | I wonder if you’ve considered the impact of your words. |
Hmmm.. maybe you want to think this one through a bit more and speak about it later. | I need you to know how your comment just landed on me. | That’s not our culture here. Those aren’t our values. |
Is sex/gender/gender identity/gender expression/race/class/ ethnicity/religion/ability/ immigration status/body type/marital status/age/ pregnancy relevant to your point? How? | It sounded like you just said _______. Is that really what you meant? | I feel obligated as your peer/colleague/co-worker /friend/supervisor to tell you that your comment wasn’t okay. |
It sounds like you’re making some assumptions that we need to unpack a bit.
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You may or may not realize this, but you’re talking about me/my story/my identity markers. | I need to leave the room if the conversation is going to continue down this road. |
Remember, it is a powerful thing for the target of oppression to hear these words from the mouth of an ally! |
Adapted from Oregon Center for Educational Equity: What Did You Just Say? Responses to Racist Comments Collected from the Field
Calling In:
- When there is an opportunity to explore deeper, make meaning together, and find a mutual sense of understanding across difference
- When we are seeking to understand or learn more
- When we want to help imagine different perspectives, possibilities, or outcomes
- Provides for multiple perspectives and encourages paradigm shifts
- Focused on reflection, not reaction
- Is not just a suggestion with an uptick (Don’t you think you should…?)
I’m curious. What was your intention when you said that? | How might the impact of your words/actions differ from your intent? | What sort of impact do you think your decisions/comment/action might have? |
How might someone else see this differently? Is it possible that someone might misinterpret your words/actions? | How might your own comfort level, assumptions, expectations, prior experiences be influencing your beliefs, decisions, process? | How is ___ different from
____?
What is the connection between ___ and ___? |
What criteria are you using to measure/assess etc? | How did you decide, determine, conclude… | What would have to change in order for ____?
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What do you assume to be true about ____? | Why is this the best way to proceed? What other approaches have you considered? | What is making you the most fearful, nervous, uncomfortable or worried? |
Why do you think that is the case? Why do you believe that to be true? | Why do you think others have/haven’t moved in that direction? | How do you know it’s working? |
Why did the result or response cause a problem for you? | What would other stakeholders say/think/feel? | In your opinion, what is the best case scenario? |
Think: How might we call out the behavior, while calling in the person? |
Adapted from the School Reform Initiative Pocket Guide to Probing Questions
rebecca@seedtheway.com |www.seedtheway.com